LOVE <3 LOVE <3

Sunday, October 16, 2005

it has been a long long long time since i last blogged. haihai. i din wan to. but i jus haf so much to sae. cos i felt so much. but i haf no where to displace all these feelings. bcos my comp doesnt work. onli my bro's lifebook does. but he has to bring to sch edae. and he plays dota enight. and i onli get to use it in the late nights. promos jus ended not long time ago. so tt explains my empty blog. yepp. act i duno if it's good to blog. but well. i shall blog when i feel like it. and when i don, too bad.
yupp. where shud i staart. todae i had a mini party at home. mama's idea. i had one last yr. it was a whole lot of fun. but this yr one. was less nicer. oh wells. i duno why. maybe is jus me. =/ hahas. it's jus funny how life works. yupps. im watching ma xiao ling now. uu noe, tt woman is sooo hot. i love her like siao siao. haha. i sound so sick. not forgetting wan yan bu po oso larhs. hahas. but tt show always let me think alot. hahs. those morbid thoughts. yupps. i had sleepless nights. cos i kept thinking. haha. i shant be open with those thoughts. i duwan to scare pple. besides. i cant remember them clearly. hahas. it was merely mild depression. hahaha.
i kept thinking. of u. i kept wondering abt u. i duno why. i want to ask u how haf u been so much. yet when i sit opposite u. nothing came out of my mouth. all i could do was bury my head down. and eat my seemed to be tasteless food. i want to care for u. but i dare not care too much to give u the wrong impression. i wan so much to be the one listening to all u haf to say. i felt so terrible. i felt so arghhhs. i duno wad im feelin also. so weird. maybe. maybe. maybe. maybe is the show again. will uu be like him. pple cant change things. but when things change. they will change the way pple think. how true. nvm la. i shudnt think too much. i shudnt imagine too much. wadever it is. i will be happy for u. i jus hope that there wont be any tears. there wont be any heartbreaking moments anymore. i wud like to empty all my emotions at some point of time. oh wells. tt's impossible larhs. bleh. enough of this.
another point is. sometimes. some pple are jus tooo concern abt themselves. and they onli know how to criticize the pple around them, without realising how self centred and spoilt they can actualli be. and i haf gotten over the oh-i-think-its-my-fault period. i had realised tt im actualli not totally at fault. ok. maybe that's how things work. no one will get along perfectly well with everyone i supposed. no one can be so magnanimous to accept everyone for who they are. talking abt this. it makes me ponder if i had been decieving myself. to accept uu. and uu. i duno. maybe. maybe. i don even noe wad kind of pple i realli associate with. it all depends on my mood. isnt it. or maybe ur mood. whether to like me. or whether to be turned off by me. whether to tolerate. or whether to gif that face of urs. or pretend that nothing had happened. wells. nothing is perfect. but still i wish i could be the perfect thing in everyone eyes. no chance girl. wake up.

shedded at 9:31 AM